Administrators Andrew Reid Posted February 1, 2016 Administrators Share Posted February 1, 2016 I'd like to see her un-convince herself of voting for Bernie in a clever and impactful way that shows how stupid voters are Ed_David 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed_David Posted February 1, 2016 Author Share Posted February 1, 2016 okay guys, based on feedback here, I'm going back to version 1. I like the latest! If you could watch both side-by-side you would see Now trying my darnest to get it on some political websites. If you guys have any ideas, let me know.It's harder to get a film seen than it is to make it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercer Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 okay guys, based on feedback here, I'm going back to version 1. I like the latest! If you could watch both side-by-side you would see Now trying my darnest to get it on some political websites. If you guys have any ideas, let me know.It's harder to get a film seen than it is to make it.Just go to the forum and post a link. Ask for their thoughts. As you can tell from this thread... People love to give their opinions. I have one more suggestion. Ditch the Trump will destroy the planet and she doesn't want to live on Mars lines. It is so hyperbolic that I feel it makes her look stupid and depletes your message. Unless your motive is that people who support Sanders are dimwits? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed_David Posted February 1, 2016 Author Share Posted February 1, 2016 The difficulty I found writing the film was that these are thoughts she quickly has. I couldn't put in too much data because a normal person can't remember that Bernie sanders was in charge of the VA committe during the VA crisis unless they specifically researched it. Or that Bernie co-sponsored a bill with Rand Paul. Only people who really looked deep into it would know that, and I think I wanted her to be me three weeks ago before I really went deep into researching both canidates.But that is the difficulty - cause in our head, we do say cliches and stupid things.At one point I had her swearing a lot more and even make a comment about Bernie being a Jew if that would hurt him - but it was tough - trying to really figure out how we think was pretty fascinating - and kind of weird now, because I still try to be conscious of how I talk to myself in my head.I want to research more though-patterns - and whether we all think similarly in our heads - and if it's more short sentances - but are they complete - and do we reference past nouns . Also how to convene this to a person in a film-form - without losing them.But i still have to go back and try to extend how long some subtitles last for. It is tough - length of piece vs people's attention spans on the internet. I tried to make it a 3 minute film for that reason, but it's about 4 minutes. It's a HOOOGE balancing act mercer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercer Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 When you first started talking about this film and showing tests, I thought I remember you saying this was for the Sanders campaign. A lot of my criticisms were based on that memory. It now seems that it is a piece about personal thought hid under the guise of the presidential election. I am confused by the piece because I am unsure what message you intend the viewer to take from it? Is it merely a piece that shows how the average person may come to a decision, or are you trying to promote Sanders? I feel you are successful with the former, but the latter needs a little cleaning. All of your thoughts and ideas are justified... Even the Jew line... Obviously not politically correct but definitely something to consider... A Jewish Socialist running for President may very well be unelectable. Or may be his electable? I don't know. I do know this is an interesting piece where you have to walk a thin line for whatever your intended message is. Just my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Andrew Reid Posted February 1, 2016 Administrators Share Posted February 1, 2016 I think the message is pretty clear.A lot of democrats love Bernie and agree with him (especially younger voters) but they don't think he can beat Clinton for the nomination or get enough support. Thus if everyone thinks like that it is self defeating and the fate of the nation is decided in their heads before even a single vote has been cast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuzzynormal Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 I think I wanted her to be me three weeks ago before I really went deep into researching both canidates.Be commended that most of the comments about the film are about the content not the craft; and consider the typical tech-centric sentiments about things on this website. I think that's a clue as to your film's effectiveness.I'm assuming you're probably not making the movie to appease everyone, but rather to guide them into a bit of a perspective shift.If I've noticed anything from your work it's that you have a accomplished knack of creating authentic tone. This is not easy to do. We may not like or agree with the characters of your movies, but we sense that they are grounded in a reality that is true for your stories.I just watched a movie last night that couldn't find that sort of center for the characters and it was incredibly frustrating. Ed_David 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Andrew Reid Posted February 1, 2016 Administrators Share Posted February 1, 2016 But i still have to go back and try to extend how long some subtitles last for. It is tough - length of piece vs people's attention spans on the internet. I tried to make it a 3 minute film for that reason, but it's about 4 minutes. It's a HOOOGE balancing actThere was one that flashed off too quickly before I had finished reading it... Only one though, early on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AaronChicago Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 I'll now always think of this: IronFilm 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed_David Posted February 1, 2016 Author Share Posted February 1, 2016 What's interesting is I started the film to be for Bernie, but as I started doing the film - the script I mean, I started to read more. And I found out Bernie really doesn't have the credentials to be a president.Obama has very little, too, but he was a community organizer, which is a giant deal - especially in Chicago, and well he's Obama - he's a rock star. He is also young, so he still hadn't been given the chance to prove himself.Bernie though had a lot of time. Now that's not to say he's not a very important Senator - he is. It's just that he's not exactly a good choice to run this whole country. Hillary is, well, even I hate her. She's a sneaky little Clinton - but there's really not many options. And of course, beat trump.Whether the film conveges this - I feel that it does subtly - more like I am trying to go back to when I had this convesation a month or so ago, she's in the beginning of her unraveling. Just trying to plant seeds.Now how the heck do I get people to watch this film? I spent all day reaching out to every blog I could find - well young person political blog.But you guys are the only ones who are talking about it - thank you very much for that!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercer Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 The first draft of Goodwill Hunting was a spy thriller. It carried the same theme within a different genre. Maybe you should rewrite the script a little and make it a comedy. Satire could probably really help your theme resonate more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed_David Posted February 3, 2016 Author Share Posted February 3, 2016 New version is up! Special shout out to Mercer for feedback on some lines and everyone else.I want to thank you guys again for caring and helping me make the film better.Thank you.And the subtitles are much better now. Some are too fast still - but I was unfortuately picture locked with grading and don't have time to go back in and extend shots. Maybe some time later.Please share if you like it. Or give me more feedback so I can keep modifying the film until I am 105 years old. Nikkor, mercer and Liam 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Members Mattias Burling Posted February 3, 2016 Super Members Share Posted February 3, 2016 Much easier for me to read now.I really like it, such a nice job on the camera, grade, exposures etc.I lost one audio channel for a while at 01:38 Ed_David 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richg101 Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 A thoroughly enjoyable watch. The pace of the subtitles feels great. Imagery is beautiful. Feels very much like the way they shot Lost in Translation. The big camera hand held in public makes for a wonderful aesthetic. Ed_David 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercer Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 So, I like how you made her thoughts more targeted, yet kept her scattered by adding more random thoughts that didn't relate to the political process.Those little asides, so to speak, broke up the monotony of her thoughts.Hell, I would even consider adding other people's unrelated thoughts, especially on the subway. When she wonders about her wallet, you could have the guy next to her wonder something as well.I actually thought it might be funny if she asks herself... "Did he just grab my ass?" Then after a brief pause, show the subtitles of the guy next to her, acknowledging that he accidentally did.Anyway, good job.I still like the original subtitles, but I seem to be in the minority with that. Ed_David 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed_David Posted February 3, 2016 Author Share Posted February 3, 2016 thank you guys all so much for caring about this film!!this is an awesome community! mercer and Volker Schmidt 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuzzynormal Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 thank you guys all so much for caring about this film!It's good stuff so it's fun to talk about it. Btw, I stumbled across "Tangents" last night just randomly browsing Vimeo. Kept thinking, "man, this has some fun cool shots in it, what great energy." And then your name popped up in the credits. Figures! Ed_David 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregormannschaft Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Is there a password around or is this still private? Wanted to take another look. Also really liked 'Tangents', thought the camera movement was incredible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercer Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 On February 3, 2016 at 9:53 AM, Ed David said: thank you guys all so much for caring about this film!! this is an awesome community! Ed, was thinking a little more about your short and I thought it could be a powerful ending to have a voice over of the woman's thoughts, without the subtitles, when she finally makes her decision to follow her heart. Just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enny Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 American politics is a joke man. You have racist idiot trump born with every spoon up his ass who is business man first of all and will exploit the American people and the office. Then build some wall and have Mexico pay good luck on that one and now Muslims you mean Muslim world same world that does bazillion dollars of business with USA you mean Saudi Arabia that does shit load of business with racist idiot trump same Saudi Arabia that trained and payed for 9/11. That idiot is just screaming and we have sheepole screaming back trump fuck yeahhhhhh. I am Canadian and politics here is nice and quiet we elected the prime minister and that was it no shows no racism no bitching and moaning. But as we know its the corporations who decide American policies big lobbies and not goverment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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