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How Can I Be A Young Director?


Zach Goodwin2
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@Zach Goodwin2 congratulations on writing a short story! Writing a coherent story isn’t easy. Now rewrite it... watch your tense, watch redundant sentences and  change the ending so that his Dad died a year ago but still looks over him from beyond the grave through text messages... Haha. 

But seriously... rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. Then write another story. 

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I finished writing this for the documentary I'm doing of my small town:

 

The Small Town of Dadeville

By Zach Goodwin

 

Dadeville was named after Major Francis L. Dade who served in the Indian Wars in the state of Florida. The town was known to have Alabama's first medical school. Dadeville is called the heart of Lake Martin; a man made lake on the Tallapoosa River operated by Alabama Power.

 

Dadeville is the county seat for Tallapoosa County. The town has a population of about 3,100.The most common thing to do there is fishing, boating, swimming, and hiking. Dadeville is mostly a blue collar small town centered around manufacturing car plants and logging timber. The current mayor of Dadeville is Wayne Smith.

 

You can also find Wickles Pickles here. Wickles Pickles is a spicy pickle made from the company Wickles founded in 1998 by the brothers, Trey and Will Sims and Andy Anderson. The company uses a secret 70 year old family recipe which differentiates Wickles from all other pickles. It is indeed a spicy and delicious pickle.

 

Where all the Wickles Pickles can be located is in a grocery store known as Renfroe's. Renfroe's is a family store owned and started by a father and son. The store is a chain groccery store with four locations in Alabama, and Dadeville is one of them. Originally the Renfroe's store was known a Dadeville Foodland. Renfroe's is known to sell local goods and at an affordable price. The store was also said to be named the best groccery store in Alabama.

 

Another place you can get food is Home Plate. Which has been said to be “Dadeville's premier place for southern-style home cooking”. Offering many types of foods for breakfast lunch and dinner. It has a cafeteria part to it with serving your own food to a diner part to it with waiters and waitresses cleaning and serving food to you. You purchase the food when you are done picking it out. Home Plate used to be an old fast food restaurant, a Hardees. The restaurant was started by two Delta Airline pilots: Ken and Bambi Hay. They also work on Keba Farm. The owner has changed to a long time employee and relative of the Home Plate owners, and her name is Deanna Jernigan.

 

We all may need a hair cut in Dadeville, so the best man to go to for hair cuts would be Rod Siggers owner of the barber shop known as Sigger's. Opened since 1992, this devout man has been running this shop and doing favors for his church. In the shop you'll find some memorabilia of automobiles, and one man cutting your hair for a good price and a man who shares the word of God in his shop and some music from his radio. The locals go in and out of the store to get a hair cut and indeed have a nice conversation with the man.

 

A place where you can get plenty of flowering supplies and hardware supplies is Floyd's Feed and Seed. Floyd's Feed and Seed carries a lot of flowers and equipment for it. They are known as another family store in Dadeville. Friendly folks are at this store selling you and looking for you to have the best for your garden and house. The store is located near the town hall, bank, and this small tax accoutning office.

 

Lastly, You'll find also all your basic stores like Dollar General, McDonald's, Jack's, Subway, a Chinese Resturant, hardware stores, and some gas stations. There are some churches here too. You may also find a repair store, and some of it's stores nearby. This is Dadeville, a small town in Alabama and where I live. A lot of forests are around here. The weather here is usually hot and warm. It does get cool and cold in the winters though. A very lovely place and I hope you love it too.

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I wrote a new draft:

The Small Town of Dadeville

By Zach Goodwin

 

Dadeville was named after Major Francis L. Dade who served in the Indian Wars in the state of Florida. The town was known to have Alabama's first medical school. Dadeville is called the heart of Lake Martin; a man made lake on the Tallapoosa River operated by Alabama Power.

 

Dadeville is the county seat for Tallapoosa County. The town has a population of about 3,100.The most common thing to do there is fishing, boating, swimming, and hiking. Dadeville is mostly a blue collar small town centered around manufacturing car plants and logging timber. The current mayor of Dadeville is Wayne Smith.

 

You can also find Wickles Pickles here. Wickles Pickles is a spicy pickle made from the company Wickles founded in 1998 by the brothers, Trey and Will Sims and Andy Anderson. The company uses a secret 70 year old family recipe which differentiates Wickles from all other pickles. It is indeed a spicy and delicious pickle.

 

Where all the Wickles Pickles can be located is in a grocery store known as Renfroe's. Renfroe's is a family store owned and started by a father and son. The store is a chain grocery store with four locations in Alabama, and Dadeville is one of them. Originally the Renfroe's store was known as Dadeville Foodland. Renfroe's is known to sell local goods and at an affordable price. The store was also said to be named the best grocery store in Alabama.

 

Another place you can get food is Home Plate. Which has been said to be “Dadeville's premier place for southern-style home cooking”. Offering many types of foods for breakfast lunch and dinner. It has a cafeteria part to it with serving your own food to a diner part to it with waiters and waitresses cleaning and serving food to you. You purchase the food when you are done picking it out. Home Plate used to be an old fast food restaurant, a Hardees. The restaurant was started by two Delta Airline pilots: Ken and Bambi Hay. They also work on Keba Farm. The owner has changed to a long time employee and relative of the Home Plate owners, and her name is Deanna Jernigan.

 

We all may need a hair cut in Dadeville, so the best man to go to for hair cuts would be Rod Siggers owner of the barber shop known as Sigger's. Opened since 1992, this devout man has been running this shop and doing favors for his church. In the shop you'll find some memorabilia of automobiles, and one man cutting your hair for a good price and a man who shares the word of God in his shop and some music from his radio. The locals go in and out of the store to get a hair cut and indeed have a nice conversation with the man.

 

A place where you can get plenty of flowering supplies and hardware supplies is Floyd's Feed and Seed. Floyd's Feed and Seed carries a lot of flowers and equipment for it. They are known as another family store in Dadeville. Friendly folks are at this store selling you and looking for you to have the best for your garden and house. The store is located near the town hall, bank, and this small tax accoutning office.

 

The bank that is there is the local bank PNC, which used to be the Bank of Dadeville. PNC is a great service bank. PNC Bank is a corporate bank with many locations across the country. It originally started in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania as Pittsburgh Trust and Savings Company. The Bank has a drive thru and an ATM in the front. When you walk in you'll find some very loving and caring people willing to help you with your questions about your account.

 

Lastly, you'll find also all your basic stores like Dollar General, McDonald's, Jack's, Subway, a Chinese Resturant, hardware stores, and some gas stations. There are some churches here too. You'll find a couple of employment offices here. You may also find a repair store, and some of it's stores nearby. One of the interesting things you'll find in Dadeville are the palm trees located out of Eagle Gas Station as these palm trees sometimes have a hard time surviving throughout all the months fortunately the owner replaced them with plastic palm trees.

 

This is Dadeville, a small town in Alabama and where I live. A lot of forests are around here. The weather here is usually hot and warm. It does get cool and cold in the winters though. A very lovely place and I hope you love it too.

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Okay, I added just a bit more details to my documentary narration essay and I think that's it.

The Small Town of Dadeville

By Zach Goodwin

 

Dadeville was named after Major Francis L. Dade who served in the Indian Wars in the state of Florida. The town was known to have Alabama's first medical school. Dadeville is called the heart of Lake Martin; a man made lake on the Tallapoosa River operated by Alabama Power.

 

Dadeville is the county seat for Tallapoosa County. The town has a population of about 3,100.The most common thing to do there is fishing, boating, swimming, and hiking. Dadeville is mostly a blue collar small town centered around manufacturing car plants, farming, and logging timber. The current mayor of Dadeville is Wayne Smith. A lot of people live here and we got some nice homes here as well.

 

You can also find Wickles Pickles here. Wickles Pickles is a spicy pickle made from the company Wickles founded in 1998 by the brothers, Trey and Will Sims and Andy Anderson. The company uses a secret 70 year old family recipe which differentiates Wickles from all other pickles. It is indeed a spicy and delicious pickle.

 

Where all the Wickles Pickles can be located is in a grocery store known as Renfroe's. Renfroe's is a family store owned and started by a father and son. The store is a chain grocery store with four locations in Alabama, and Dadeville is one of them. Originally the Renfroe's store was known as Dadeville Foodland. Renfroe's is known to sell local goods and at an affordable price. The store was also said to be named the best grocery store in Alabama.

 

Another place you can get food is Home Plate. Which has been said to be “Dadeville's premier place for southern-style home cooking”. Offering many types of foods for breakfast lunch and dinner. It has a cafeteria part to it with serving your own food to a diner part to it with waiters and waitresses cleaning and serving food to you. You purchase the food when you are done picking it out. Home Plate used to be an old fast food restaurant, a Hardees. The restaurant was started by two Delta Airline pilots: Ken and Bambi Hay. They also work on Keba Farm. The owner has changed to a long time employee and relative of the Home Plate owners, and her name is Deanna Jernigan.

 

We all may need a hair cut in Dadeville, so the best man to go to for hair cuts would be Rod Siggers owner of the barber shop known as Sigger's. Opened since 1992, this devout man has been running this shop and doing favors for his church. In the shop you'll find some memorabilia of automobiles, and one man cutting your hair for a good price and a man who shares the word of God in his shop and some music from his radio. The locals go in and out of the store to get a hair cut and indeed have a nice conversation with the man.

 

A place where you can get plenty of flowering supplies and hardware supplies is Floyd's Feed and Seed. Floyd's Feed and Seed carries a lot of flowers and equipment for it. They are known as another family store in Dadeville. Friendly folks are at this store selling you and looking for you to have the best for your garden and house. The store is located near the town hall, bank, and this small tax accoutning office.

 

The bank that is there is the local bank PNC, which used to be the Bank of Dadeville. PNC is a great service bank. PNC Bank is a corporate bank with many locations across the country. It originally started in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania as Pittsburgh Trust and Savings Company. The Bank has a drive thru and an ATM in the front. When you walk in you'll find some very loving and caring people willing to help you with your questions about your account.

 

Lastly, you'll find also all your basic stores like Dollar General, McDonald's, Jack's, Subway, a Chinese Resturant, some other restaurants, hardware stores, and some gas stations. There are some churches here too. You'll find a couple of employment offices here and some offices to get a lawyer to defend your case. You may also find a repair store, and some of it's stores nearby. One of the interesting things you'll find in Dadeville are the palm trees located out of Eagle Gas Station as these palm trees sometimes have a hard time surviving throughout all the months fortunately the owner replaced them with plastic palm trees.

 

This is Dadeville, a small town in Alabama and where I live. A lot of forests are around here. The weather here is usually hot and warm. It does get cool and cold in the winters though. A very lovely place and I hope you love it too.

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Last draft:

The Small Town of Dadeville

By Zach Goodwin

 

Dadeville was named after Major Francis L. Dade who served in the Indian Wars in the state of Florida. The town was known to have Alabama's first medical school. Dadeville is called the heart of Lake Martin; a man made lake on the Tallapoosa River operated by Alabama Power.

 

Dadeville is the county seat for Tallapoosa County. The town has a population of about 3,100.The most common thing to do there is fishing, boating, swimming, and hiking. Dadeville is mostly a blue collar small town centered around manufacturing car plants, farming, and logging timber. A lot of people live here and we got some nice homes here as well.

 

You can also find Wickles Pickles here. Wickles Pickles is a spicy pickle made from the company Wickles founded in 1998 by the brothers, Trey and Will Sims and Andy Anderson. The company uses a secret 70 year old family recipe which differentiates Wickles from all other pickles. It is indeed a spicy and delicious pickle.

 

Where all the Wickles Pickles can be located is in a grocery store known as Renfroe's. Renfroe's is a family store owned and started by a father and son. The store is a chain grocery store with four locations in Alabama, and Dadeville is one of them. Originally the Renfroe's store was known as Dadeville Foodland. Renfroe's is known to sell local goods and at an affordable price. The store was also said to be named the best grocery store in Alabama.

 

Another place you can get food is Home Plate. Which has been said to be “Dadeville's premier place for southern-style home cooking”. Offering many types of foods for breakfast lunch and dinner. It has a cafeteria part to it with serving your own food to a diner part to it with waiters and waitresses cleaning and serving food to you. You purchase the food when you are done picking it out. Home Plate used to be an old fast food restaurant, a Hardees. The restaurant was started by two Delta Airline pilots: Ken and Bambi Hay. They also work on Keba Farm. The owner has changed to a long time employee and relative of the Home Plate owners, and her name is Deanna Jernigan.

 

We all may need a hair cut in Dadeville, so the best man to go to for hair cuts would be Rod Siggers owner of the barber shop known as Sigger's. Opened since 1992, this devout man has been running this shop and doing favors for his church. In the shop you'll find some memorabilia of automobiles, and one man cutting your hair for a good price and a man who shares the word of God in his shop and some music from his radio. The locals go in and out of the store to get a hair cut and indeed have a nice conversation with the man.

 

A place where you can get plenty of flowering supplies and hardware supplies is Floyd's Feed and Seed. Floyd's Feed and Seed carries a lot of flowers and equipment for it. They are known as another family store in Dadeville. Friendly folks are at this store selling you and looking for you to have the best for your garden and house. The store is located near the town hall, bank, and this small tax accoutning office.

 

The bank that is there is the local bank PNC, which used to be the Bank of Dadeville. PNC is a great service bank. PNC Bank is a corporate bank with many locations across the country. It originally started in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania as Pittsburgh Trust and Savings Company. The Bank has a drive thru and an ATM in the front. When you walk in you'll find some very loving and caring people willing to help you with your questions about your account.

 

Lastly, you'll find also all your basic stores like Dollar General, McDonald's, Jack's, Subway, a Chinese restaurant, some other restaurants, and some hardware stores. One of the interesting things you'll find in Dadeville are the palm trees located out of Eagle Gas Station as these palm trees sometimes have a hard time surviving throughout all the months fortunately the owner replaced them with plastic palm trees. There are some churches here too. You'll find a couple of employment offices here and some offices to get a lawyer to defend your case. You may also find a repair store, and some of it's stores nearby.

 

This is Dadeville, a small town in Alabama and where I live. A lot of forests are around here. The weather here is usually hot and warm. It does get cool and cold in the winters though. A very lovely place and I hope you love it too.

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Stay positive, Zach. You’re not alone in having a psychiatric condition and it is part of who you are - it doesn’t define you but it’s just one aspect of “you”. Look at the history of creative individuals and you’ll find a splendid cornucopia of potential diagnoses.

I was going to ask whether you were satisfied by the focus (viewed it without sound on public transport a while ago but didn’t get chance to watch it again). 

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I like the script, the pace and acting. Camera was adequate to show what needed to be shown, just, the image was out of focus and overexposed. I think the thread title fits you well, Zach, about being a director. You wrote and directed well but might have used some teaming up for exposing the shot and pulling focus. Or you take your time for these kinda technicalities as well.

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